Refuge: i want to be gathered

By Rebecca Vickery

Refuge-(noun)- a condition of being safe or sheltered from pursuit, danger, or trouble.



I don’t know about you, but for me, these days have been so overwrought with trials in every direction.  There is not a physical refuge.  I cannot get away from the onslaught.  It is pervasive.  From within, from without, I am hard pressed on all sides.  



When I am in spatial peace, my thoughts attack with a million different what-ifs.  The present seems so volatile, so what does that say for the future?  And then I hear the refrain, “Do not worry about tomorrow, for today has enough worries of its own.”  And I repeat it for myself.  Thank you, Lord, for the reminder.


My heart is gently reminded back into the present.  And so it goes.  My heart and mind wander into anxiousness, and the Spirit brings me back.  Still… it seems the safe spaces are shrinking, my peace with it, and the enemy seems to be making headway across the board. I lift my eyes up to the Lord, where does my help come from?  And suddenly, the world entire halts for a moment.


It’s just me in the presence of the Lord and His presence surrounds me.  The voices of my enemies quiet for a moment.  The stresses of my environment cease for this moment.  My racing thoughts find themselves a stoplight.  There was a song written by Lifehouse in the year 2000.


“Find me here and speak to me.  I want to feel you; I need to hear you.  You are the light that’s leading me to the place where I find peace again.”


I have to be led back to that place.  Again, and again.  But the more I am led there, the more I want to return there.  He is my refuge.  A very present help in times of trouble.  HE IS.  I don’t know of another time when I have most needed him to be there for me.  And He is.  I don’t have to leave my geographical location to meet with him.  I simply have to do it. 


A few nights ago I was overwhelmed by my gratitude towards God for being there for me.  And I was reminded of a time when my heart was so prone to wander.  I wrote the following poem in response:
 

Eternal Father
Who was and is and ever more shall be
You have been my shelter Lord
You have been an ever present help for me
My refuge in times of trouble
Lord I’m done walking away
I want to go where you go Lord
I’m done having my way
I want to stay with you
 
You’ve been so gracious as I’ve sought my own agenda
You’ve brought me back when I’ve wandered far
But I have traveled that rocky cliff side
And I don’t to go without you, Lord, no
 
Precious Lord, please lead me on
Whatever way it is we need to go
And if it’s face first into the storm
Make me mighty like your buffalo
Through the ice, through the wind, the rain and snow
 
I’m done running off the other way, if you lead me onward
If you bid me stay
I will walk with you, with faith like a child
My hand in yours through the fierce and wild
I do not want any other way
 

In Matthew Jesus chastised Jerusalem, and laments “How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, yet you were not willing!”  


I want to be gathered.  I don’t want to be resistant when I could be finding shelter under his wings.  The Lord is not waiting to jump out and say “gotcha,” he longs to gather his children to himself.  How often have I allowed myself to spin out in anxiousness and sadness when I could have been seeking refuge with the most high God.


My friends, God is not absent.  Sometimes we forget how much of a privilege it is to simply BE in the presence of God.  To be found by Him and be known as His.  If this world pushes you to the end of yourself, meditate on Psalm 46 and remember that He is an ever present help in times of trouble.  Peace be with you.