by Peggie Potter

     In February 2022 I drove to Massachusetts to visit family.

     The trip started good with just light snow showers. As I got further down I-89, that became white-out conditions.

I was terrified ! Lumbering along at 20
MPH with my flashers on I put on praise & worship music & began to sing and praise Him (Ps 22:3).

     I knew Jesus was with me & His promises are yes & Amen (Ps 91:11)

     The fear was replaced by His
peace & a sense of His presence in the car with me. ​

  I passed 2 accidents & prayed for them. And I safely made it to my family in Massachusetts.  I realized my experience was likened to the frightened disciples in the boat on the lake in the storm. He was there !

​Blessings, Peggie Potter

​By Jennifer Hoyt
     Matthew 4:4 Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.”

     Psalms 37:3-4 Trust in the LORD, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

     Who here likes to eat? Raising my hand! I absolutely love food. One of the greatest disappointments of aging is losing my twenty-year-old metabolism that could handle anything I wanted whenever I wanted and not gain an ounce. I have a sweet tooth, a savory tooth, and a broad palate that appreciates all kinds of flavors. I’m not sure if I’d go as far as saying I’m a “foodie” but this girl likes to eat!
I think I shared in my last blog that God and I go on walks. Sometimes, I resist going on walks, especially in bad weather, but I’ve been making an effort. During my most recent walk, God unfurled a new, cool thing…

     I was praying, or at least inwardly monologuing in God’s direction, (we won’t dwell on the fact that I need to learn to listen more than I talk), and as I was walking along, I really just wanted to express thankfulness to God. The thought ‘feed on His faithfulness’ and ‘God inhabits the praise of His people’ was running through my head. Before I knew it, one thought leading to the next the way our brains do… God began unpacking this idea of spiritual food and also spiritual eating disorders. Since my prayer right before these thoughts was for some inspiration to share on this blog with you, here we go!

     Food. It’s such a central part of our existence, woven into every aspect of our lives. It’s cultural, integral to our daily routines, and a key element of every major holiday and celebration. Plus, there’s the simple fact that if we don’t eat (and drink), we die!

     When you look at the Bible, there are SO many references to food. For example, during their time in the desert, God provided the Israelites with manna. Some of Jesus’ miracles involved feeding 5,000 and turning water into wine. Before Jesus died, we have the “Last Supper,” where Jesus related His broken body to food and drink—a sacrament we partake in to remember His sacrifice. Psalm 34:8 says, “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.” In John 6, Jesus says, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.” And then, of course, one of my personal favorites, found in Matthew 4:4 where Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’”

     I think one can logically conclude that just as our physical bodies need food for survival, our inner man, our spirit, also needs sustenance for health and survival. In fact, that is exactly what Matthew 4:4 tells us. Our spiritual survival depends on every word that proceeds or continues out of God’s mouth. This also means that God didn’t stop wanting to talk with us at the completion of the Bible. If that were true, His word wouldn’t be, as it says in Hebrews 4:12, “living and active”. We wouldn’t really receive revelation from a living text if the Holy Spirit had nothing to say.

     So, spiritual food… what is it? In the simplest of terms: God’s word. God’s Word is described as milk (1 Peter 2:2), meat (1 Corinthians 3:2), and bread (Deuteronomy 8:3; Job 23:12), and it is even sweeter than honey (Psalm 119:103).

     What’s really interesting (and initially a little off-putting, if you can follow my snarky brain) is when the prophet Jeremiah said, “When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart’s delight, for I bear your name, LORD God Almighty” (Jeremiah 15:16).
When I first read that, I thought, “Okay, so Jeremiah is a weird dude. He literally just munched a scroll and called it tasty. Forget the spoonful of sugar, Mary Poppins, Jeremiah’s got some delicious honey scrolls—line up, kids!”

     Jeremiah’s palate and my palate… do not relate. If there’s a dinner invitation to Jeremiah’s mansion in heaven, I might have to walk my fish or vacuum my gold driveway that evening. Although, I could send him a message asking what’s on the menu. If he replies with, “Please join me for honey barbecue scrolls,” I might skip the taste test, but I’d definitely spectate just to see how the scrolls don’t burn on the grill! I know, I know… heaven is a magical place.

     All snark and humor aside, I realized… Jeremiah was internalizing God’s Word. He was making it a part of his very being! Jeremiah is showing us that Scripture is not merely something to study or read; it is something to be “eaten” by God’s people because of its life giving benefits. We need to not only read the Word, but we need to ingest it so that the Holy Spirit can show us its meaning and application in our lives, which is where we get into the transformative power of God and is also why Jeremiah said it was his joy and his heart’s delight - good stuff (see Psalm 1:1–3).

     Did I pique your curiosity when I mentioned spiritual eating disorders? Me too. And as you read on, know that I’ve probably experienced most of these at different times in my life. So, if you identify with any of these categories, you’re not alone!

     Let’s look at some of the most common eating disorders in the natural and see how it translates to our spirit man/woman:
Anorexia nervosa is a condition where people avoid food, severely restrict food, or eat tiny quantities of only certain foods. Spiritual anorexia mirrors its physical counterpart. It happens when people avoid being nourished by God’s word or only accept certain parts of it.
An anorexic Christian is one that perhaps believes in God, but that belief doesn’t translate to being in a relationship with God. It’s the same as you believing that I, Jennifer Hoyt, exist, and maybe you’ve heard a few things about me, but we’ve never spent time and you’ve never learned about me first hand. Some call these types of believers “fire insurance” Christians, because their belief surrounds get-out-of-hell insurance, but there is no actual ongoing relationship with God. We all lead busy lives and sometimes our lives are too busy, and the days, weeks, and months march past, and we mean to spend time with God, we have good intentions, but we fail at establishing a routine of reading our bible, praying and relating with our creator.

     Other Christian anorexics go to church on Sunday and expect that to do the job for the entire week, even though our natural bodies wouldn’t fare so well if we only ate once a week! Some of us might not read God’s word, but we try to pray as we fall asleep. While that’s a start, our inner being is still starving.

     Other anorexics read only the parts of God’s word that feel good. Kinda like the kid that only wants to eat pizza, chicken wings, candy and ice cream. We know we should have a balanced diet with all the ‘food groups’, but we find taking in the Bible too complicated. There are too many places that offend us or that we would rather avoid because they contain hard truths that we don’t want to take responsibility for. For some, God is only palatable when He is His sweetest sacrificial self. The God of vengeance, war and consequences isn’t a God we want to know. Of course, until someone has wronged us, and then a ‘smite’ button might just come in handy.

     For the anorexic, when problems come our way, instead of seeking God’s prophetic word for our situation, we rely on worldly counsel or our instincts.
​   
    I’m sure there are many more examples, but in short, spiritual anorexia is when we avoid getting to know God through the life-giving nutrients of His word.

     Bulimia nervosa is a condition where people eat food and then purge what they’ve eaten. Spiritually speaking, a bulimic Christian is one that might take in the word of God, but they spit it back out before it can do them any good.

     If you’re anything like me and what I’ve experienced as a Christian bulimic, you’ve sat in church or spent time in the word only to be convicted by what you heard or read and then purged the discomfort as quickly as possible to return to your sin. The ole, I know what the Bible says about this or that, (fill in the blank) BUT... (insert your special circumstances, excuses, reasons or your pet worldviews). I know this person is married, but they married the wrong person and I really think God meant for us to be together. God will never contradict His written word. Adultery is adultery—run! The enemy would love to have us believe our situations are unique and an exception to the rule because the enemy is a jerk and his whole modulus operandi is to rob, steal, kill and destroy.

     Bulimic Christians are easily deceived by worldly morality. If it sounds good or appeals to our reason, it must be true. The world holds ideals like “love is just love” and “my body my choice” but a Christian knows the truth if they are in the word of God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” A person who has spent time in the word knows that Jeremiah 1:5 reveals that God knows us even before He forms us in the womb. Psalm 139:13–16 highlights God’s active role in our creation and formation. Exodus 21:22–25 prescribes the same penalty for causing the death of a baby in the womb as for murder.
 
     A bulimic Christian is not a hearer and doer of God’s word. There is little fruit, (you know a tree by its fruit, the fruits of the spirit are: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control), in their lives because, if you think about it, a tree must be well nourished and healthy in order to produce good fruit.

     Avoidant restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID), previously known as selective eating disorder, is a condition where people limit the amount or type of food eaten. A child with ARFID does not eat enough calories to grow and develop properly, and an adult with ARFID does not eat enough calories to maintain basic body function.

     On a large scale, Christian’s suffering with ARFID are modern day Pharisees. They are the snake oil preachers tickling ears with a doctrine that sounds good, but has no root in the transformative power of the kingdom. They use their knowledge of the Bible for their own benefit. They are the sheep in wolves clothing, who have a form of godliness, but deny its power (2 Timothy 3:5).

     God, through His word, is going to define our worldviews. We do not get to be selective. I once heard a fire and brimstone preacher say it like this, “Some of you are busy filtering and defining God through your worldview. Then you whine and complain that you pray and pray and don’t get any answers. It’s almost like God doesn’t exist. I have news for you—your God doesn’t exist. You made Him up! The real God defines Himself, causing us to shape and filter our worldviews through Him, not the other way around.

     What does an ARFID Christian look like in our smaller scale lives? An ARFID Christian is busy building a God in their own image kinda like you might design your next lap top. I like this and that, but not this... and if it could be more like that. We are grabbing sustenance from the world, too. ARFID Christians are filling themselves up on the daily horoscope, seeing psychics, embracing new age woo-wooism and playing with tarot cards. We have excuses about why it’s okay to smoke, drink, and to shack up before marriage. We do not guard our tongue. We do not guard our eye or ear gates and anything goes for us! Forget about the fact that they Bible says God hates Pharmakeia (pharma = drug) and that He calls it sorcery or illegal access into the spirit realm, nevermind our body is a temple, or that sexual sins are the worst in God’s eyes because we sin against our own body. Forget about the fact that horoscopes and all that nonsense is defined by God as witchcraft and when we partake in honoring demonic spirits, God calls it prostitution. Galatians 5:19-21

     In closing, I want to encourage you. If you’ve checked off some boxes under every spiritual food disorder, hey me too! We need God. We need His transformative power and the access point is through internalizing His word and allowing the Holy Spirit to bring revelation! His word is our sustenance. I think that is why when Jesus taught his disciples to pray, he used the words “give us our daily bread” because daily, not once a week or even occasionally, but daily, we need God’s life giving word (Matthew 6:11).

     For most of us, making a change is hard. We look forward to our morning coffee and the horoscope or a drink to close out the night. We can’t imagine life without social media and scrolling and it never dawns on us that its become an idol we place before God. No wonder we have no time for spiritual food. We are eating, just not from God’s word. Others of us struggle with body image, lust, anxiety...the list could get long here! Matthew 12:43-45 talks about kicking demons out and explains that after a spirit is gone it walks around the dry places seeking peace and finds none, it decides to come back to the place it was kicked out. The house (us, spiritually speaking) swept clean and unoccupied is an inviting space and the unclean spirit goes and finds seven friends and returns to take up residence. The final condition of that person is worse than it was at first. Why? Here is the application – if you’re trying to make a change, you can’t do it without God. God fills the empty space. The mons and his friends can’t take up residence in a space already filled and radiating God’s love. The simple truth is, most of us are spiritually hungry. We eat, just maybe not from the right source. If we want to make a change, we need to do it God’s way and we only find that through His word.

     There is a big difference between having a religion and having a relationship. Christianity as a religion is an excellent set of teachings and a correct philosophy, but it’s dead. Christianity as a relationship is where we get into a soul that hungers and thirsts no more! If you are struggling in some of these areas, ask for help! You don’t have to walk alone. That’s why you are part of the body. I’m here. Our pastors are here.

​by Donna Churchill

Do you like to read mystery novels? I do. But I have a confession to make – when I read a
mystery, I always feel a strong compulsion to read the last chapter first! I want to know
while I’m reading the book “who done it!!” I don’t always succumb to this temptation, but
sometimes I do! Sometimes the mystery is just too much for me!

There is so much about life that is a mystery to me – to all of us. Some mysteries we can
pursue and solve; others, no matter how we try, we cannot. I believe it’s meant to be that
way. Mystery creates longing…..a longing to know.

Deuteronomy 29:29 tells us – “The secret things belong unto the Lord our God: but those
things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children for ever…..”

And then Proverbs 30:18 & 19 says this: “There are three things that are too amazing for
me, four that I do not understand: the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock,
the way of a ship on the high seas, and way of a man with a maiden.”

These Scriptures tells us that there are some mysteries that God reveals, but there are also
mysteries that we do not and cannot understand, and, in fact, are not meant to understand -
yet.
In his book, Longing for More, Timothy Williard says this:

Made for Beauty, Made for Mystery

“The glory that you have given me I have given to them.” John 17:22

We watch the sun set. It stirs a desire within us. We cannot quite describe the desire – we
want some part of the experience. But what? C. S. Lewis says we don’t want the sunset itself.
Rather, we want to crawl inside of it and wash ourselves with whatever it is behind the
sunset – an experience of interaction with its Creator.

Studies in science tell us our brains are hardwired for belief. God made us with the ability to
desire that which cannot always be seen or fully known. ‘If I find in myself a desire which no
experience in this world can satisfy,’ says Lewis in Mere Christianity, ‘the most probable
explanation is that I was made for another world.’

In a BBC feature, Ben Quash, professor of Christianity and the Arts of King’s College London,
said beauty is known best when it is giving the sense of home and communion. We find echoes
of Lewis here, for Lewis always seems to be reaching for home in his writings, while at the
same time aiming us at the sunset – content to leave us in the arms of longing.

"Do you feel the pull of another world? When you encounter the mysterious and the beautiful,
do you also experience a peace in knowing that Jesus is showing himself to you? I feel at home
in mystery, but it seems many Christians think mystery and the lack of answers
uncomfortable. I think God gives us mystery so that we stay humble, so that we constantly
thirst for him, so that we continually find delight."

I can identify with what Lewis says. Sometimes when I see a thing of beauty, I want to crawl
inside it and own it, that it would last forever. I want to capture it and stay in it! The
mystery of what touches our hearts when we see something of beauty or hear beautiful
music or are moved to tears when we read or watch a love story pulls at our hearts. We
can’t always understand what we’re feeling. Something deep in our spirits is moved and
touched by the depth and beauty. What comes through them to us is longing. That’s the
place where God resides and we are responding to His glory being revealed. But the
mistake comes when we think our longing is just for the thing of beauty. The true longing of
the heart is for God – to know Him and be known by Him. (Psalm 42:7 tells us “Deep calls
unto deep…”) We are longing for the Creator, not the created. We are longing for home.

​This is what separates. We can see or hear a thing of beauty and long for it to never end
because it is so beautiful and touches something deep inside. But to allow our souls to go
further and long for that which created the thing of beauty and gave it expression will be
what pulls us and drives us to see and know the Creator for ourselves.
​
It is not for us to solve the mystery of that. It is for God to reveal Himself to us and to draw
us into His mystery. To continually find delight. Embrace this mystery; celebrate it!
Celebrate the glimpses of God He chooses to reveal to you in the mysteries of His creation.
And then be content to leave the rest with Him. Because to know Him wraps us in the
greatest mystery of all time – the revealed Messiah – Jesus Christ – God with us!

​By Peggie Potter​

 Jeremiah 29:11 for I know the plans I have for you.
To prosper you & not destroy you. To give you a hope & a future.
 
         From the time of my childhood through my early walk with Jesus
I was an awkward, nerdy , & insecure soul. I struggled with depression 
& self-consciousness. I often embarrassed my family & myself trying
desperately to be noticed & acknowledged. I was the favorite bullying
victim on the school playground.

        Jesus changed all that. When He came into my life in Feb 1978 , I
was a young mother of a 7 month-old son, Rob. Slowly He began to
remove all the fear & insecurity & need for attention. He took my love
of natural science & gave me my now nearly 29 year career as an
aviation weather observer. He blessed me with three wonderful sons,
2 precious daughters -in-law, & 4 beautiful grandchildren.

          I know my worth as a child of God because He has not only saved & cared for me,
but has given me His heart. My value lies in Him. Insecurity was a very 
difficult thing to overcome, but I can do all things through Christ who
strengthens me. And yes Norma, my latter is certainly better than my past !

​Praise Jesus !
Blessings, Peggie Potter

By Joyce Pelletier
Psalm 131:3 Put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore!
The definitions of hope are…

1. A feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.
2. A feeling of trust – our private friendship, upon hope and alliance.
3. Want something to happen or be the case. “he’s hoping for an offer of compensation.

      Proverbs 3:5-6 says… “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.”

          The needs of our lives are uncountable. The wants of our lives goes beyond that.
The hope of our lives is debatable. Trust is an on-going quest for growth.

            Every moment of my life I ‘need’ breath, food, water, clothes, housing, a job to sustain me. The ‘wants’ I have are those wishful thinking things that ‘I’ think ‘I’ need. Which is often not always so. The most important ‘needs’ and ‘wants’ we long for is love.

            I’ve been learning it’s okay to pray for wants, but what is far better is to pray for what I need to get through this life with the Lord at my side. Some wants connect with God’s plan. Such as wanting a deeper relationship with God. He’s ready for action on that. Sometimes the wants and needs get disjointed. 

            An example of this is when I sit down to write a blog, I never really know what I’ll share. I’m willing to venture the thought that anyone who blogs feels the same way. Something it happens when I sit down to write. I will often find a verse that has meaning to what I’m thinking about at that moment.

           I had a friend encourage me to keep a journal. He said, “Even though there may be days when you can’t think of a thing to write about. Start with ‘I don’t have anything to write about today. There is nothing going on right now.’ Then the writing comes next. You’ll be surprised how much you come up with. Writing happens with purpose most days. There are many days when you have only to say, ‘that’s all I have today, Lord.” I’ve learned that there are many days of quiet, non-writing thoughts that don’t have to go on paper. Those thoughts just take up space in my thoughts and often I find them consoling and I can find purpose in that too. 

            Truth be told, God knows my heart. When I sit down to write, I know He’s going to give me something to talk about. If not, then it’s okay to be quiet, as well. I see lessons at every corner of every day He gives me. So, in that I have hope. When I pray for someone’s need, and I know the prayer is in line with God. All I need is to trust in His provision.

            I recently attended a concert by The Aphasia Choir at South Burlington High School. I know the leader who has put this together. She is gifted and that gives me hope that whatever this group does it will be their best. The members of this choir are victims of stroke and other issues that have limited their lives. But they will be singing for the joy of overcoming their disabilities and so they offer a message of “HOPE” through song.” Isn’t that all that we need? She says that a stroke can take away the ability to speak, which comes from one side of the brain, singing comes from the other side of the brain. That means this therapy allows people to sing to their hearts’ content. I can tell you that I have never enjoyed a concert more than this one.

            In God we trust, for He gives us Hope. He answers our prayers in accordance with His holy and precious will. He has the power of making a man out of dirt, therefore He can do anything. Why shouldn’t I trust Him. After all I am a child of God. I can ask Jesus for what He thinks I need most. So, I ask myself, “What am I asking for? Is it riches when all I need is peace?”

           When we pray for hope and peace, that means we desire to trust God. Somehow when I pray, I’m learning to consider what His plan might turn out to be, then I will have hope that I can trust in His plan. May you know the beauty of his “HOPE” for your life.

            Please pray with me, ‘Jesus, inspire my heart with trust. I know there is no end on the road of hard things. But hope is only elusive if we ignore it. Anticipation of Hope is Joy knowing that a am aware of something much deeper and profound than "ME>"  This is what makes it all worthwhile.  Keep me grounded on the road to peace. Bless my soul with your Word so that my whole being will be filled with hope. Therefore, I can love you through all of life’s hard things.  Help me to consider consciously all the needs and wants that I have and accept full well that you have all that I need, and that is what I truly want. Thank you Jesus, In your Holy Name, AMEN!’

​









​by Rebecca Vickery
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from
you.  Come near to God and he will come near to you.  James 4:7-8

People have often taken extended breaks from their normal routines to
spend extra time with the Lord. Sabbaticals (from the Hebrew Shabat, or
Sabbath), retreats, conferences, etc., we are an easily distracted people
and the busyness of our lives often requires a call to inaction,
so to speak.

“Be still and know that I am God….” It can be challenging to be still. It can
feel impossible to cease from our daily responsibilities because we
absolutely MUST keep working.

Sometimes, the sabbatical can be forced. Obvious mental health issues
might prompt employers to make their overworked staff take a break. In
my case, I had an unintentional forced sabbatical in the form of a grueling medical treatment. When I entered into my treatment, it became glaringly obvious that I was going to be in no shape to do any of the tasks that I have been entrusted with over the last 20 years of my married life. Hardly any of the fun things I had previously enjoyed would be possible either.

There would be no cooking. No cleaning. No chauffeuring, instead needing my own chauffer. No laundry. No business. No exercise. No events. No Bible Studies. No karaoke. No open mic nights. Usually no guests. No visitors. No phone calls. No answering of emails. No parent teacher conferences.

Everything that I had previously used to determine my value or worth was gone. Who was I without all that I did? How could I be valuable to those around me without all that I could do for them? How could I be valuable to God without all that I could do for Him?

But early on I had a choice to make. Draw near to God and he will draw
near to you. I desperately needed Him to be near to me. So, I needed to
be intentional with the one thing I could do. I could draw near to God. It
was a simple, yet complicated thing. My forced sabbatical had become a spiritual retreat. I would seek the Lord in all of the spaces that my mind could comprehend. When I had nothing but my mind, I would seek Him.

The more I went to Him, the more I knew I could go to Him. I would find
comfort and refuge in His company. My body would be raging. My mind
would be tired. But I could go to Him and trust Him to be there when I
called. I never had to wonder if he would answer my calls. There was no
voice mail, just a direct line. I never had to worry about if he was going to be in a bad mood when I called upon Him.

“Call to me and I will answer you, and tell you great and unsearchable
things you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we
may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
Hebrews 4:16

I knew from scripture that I could confidently approach Him because of my faith in Jesus. His righteousness meant that I could enter into His presence and know that He would answer me. Experience would time and again prove this to be the case. I cannot imagine having had to endure all of the alone time if I had not known that I had a constant companion. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end. The treasure trove I had in my heart of scriptures, the Word of God would come back to me and reassure my heart so that even when I could not read His Word, it was never far from me. I had opportunities over the 10 months to submit my plans to Him. I could give him my worries. He would again and again prove faithful. He would redirect my path. He would reroute my thinking.

What was the most challenging time in my life would turn out to be a
tremendous blessing. What the enemy may have meant for evil, God
meant for good. I have had more alone time over the last year than at any other period in my life. And yet, I have learned how not alone I truly was.  Whatever I was facing, I would face it with the Lord, and He would be with me. I have known his closeness in a way that I had not ever gotten to experience before.

Dear brothers and sisters, are you lonely? Are you weary? Submit
yourself to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to
God, and I promise you because HE promises you, God WILL come near
to you. Be still and know that He IS.
​To the praise and honor of His Name.
Amen.
   

y Jennifer Hoyt
1 Samuel 8:4 “Now make us a king to judge us like all the nations.”

1 Samuel 8:7 And the Lord said to Samuel, “Heed the voice of the people in all that they say to you; for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected Me, that I should not reign over them.”

     Any readers out there ever get rejected? Woof. Rejection is the ultimate blow to our person-hood. It cuts to the very core of our being and is probably one of the more deeply painful things we experience as humans. I can feel my gut clench and my heart compact just thinking about it. In fact, rejection is at the root of much of the trauma that we deal with and recover from. Rejection is so much a part of our experience that I doubt I could find one person who hasn’t experienced it in their journey. I’m certainly no exception to that rule, and having just been through some rougher patches with the topic at hand, I thought I might share some of what God is teaching me, but before I delve in to my personal experience, I’d like to first set the biblical stage.

     In Samuel 8, we are observing a critical time in Israel’s history. Up to this point, God led the Jewish people Himself with the help of the Judges and Priests He appointed. Judges provided the people with military leadership, dispute resolution, and spiritual counsel. Priests served as oracles, making the will of God known, ensuring they observed His commandments, and atoning for the people’s sins. Things were going along pretty well until...
     
     The Jewish people look around and see the way of the world is to have a king preside over their people, and low and behold, they desired what everyone else had. I’ve been there. How about you? Sometimes the world looks good and we think we will get satisfaction by doing and having whatever everyone else does and has. For the Jews, instead of realizing the unique, set apart position they were in, they focused on how that made them different and their lack.
As humans, we don’t like to stand out. It leaves us opened for rejection. Appearing different is the worst! That’s why we need to dress in the current fashion, live in the best house, drive the latest whip, go on the most Instagramable vacations, and do our best to always appear like we have it together. It is also why we are afraid to speak up about our faith and shed light on moral truths during a time of great darkness and worldly decay.

     What’s really sad is that Israel didn’t see that they were, the. special. people. of. God! No other people group could say that God lead them through the desert by the cloud of His presence, provided miracle food from the heavens, confused, scattered, drowned and toppled their enemies. Israel saw their neighbors, and, simply… they wanted whatever they thought they didn’t have, and what they believed would make them happy...

     In writing this, I’m really tempted to launch off into discussing the areas of our lives where the thrones of our heart have rejected God’s leadership in favor of worldly kings (pop-culture, relationships, spiritual new-ageism etc.,), but when I sought God on this blog, He wants to deal with how rejection has marred our lives and what we need to do about it.
The countless ways that I, myself, have been rejected in life are far too numerous to delve into them in any great degree in one blog, but the important thing for you to know, is that the devil has layered experience after experience in order to do what he does... rob, steal, kill, cheat and destroy.

     Rejection started when I was in elementary school with my peers, and became more acute after I lost my mother to cancer, and bounced from home to home. Grief made me a bit of a standout in high school, where I faced more rejection. Rejection took new forms once dating began, and I entered the wrong relationships. My attempts to fill that gnawing hole inside, became collapsed marriages. Looking back, those relationships failed because of the myriad of all the other rejections and the micro-rejections triggered by one another and then reacted to out of the patterns of defensive behaviors that were formed to avoid pain. Before I illustrate my point with a more recent rejection, let’s look at how busy the enemy is in wielding rejection in our lives:

     The critical parent that only found fault. The addict that rejected in favor of their addiction. The cheating partner that betrayed, hurt, and humiliated. The peers that always made fun. The abuser who rejected to esteem their temper. The rapist who rejected your humanity to defile your body for their own pleasure. The backstabbing parishioner(s) that rallied others and left. The in-law that never thought you were good enough and never accepted you as part of the family. The employer that never could get behind your vision, and always passed you over for promotion. The sibling that never wanted you along for their fun and never saw your love for them. The ‘friend’ that was always nice to your face, but took great pleasure in stabbing you behind your back. The spouse who was never pleased and gave no approval. The parent that left and started a whole new family. The teenager who was always embarrassed of you. The teacher that made you feel stupid… Wowzer. I feel like this list could go on and on. Can you feel that? The pain and hurt… is it any wonder secular memes say things like, “Heal, so you don’t bleed on those that didn’t cut you” and “Hurt people, hurt people.” Rejection is powerful and I’ve only listed a few! I’m going to share a quick story that leads to the revelation God gave me.

     Some of you know I coach league, and AAU basketball. To be specific, I’ve been working with boys Grade 8-11. If I’m honest, I feel better suited to teach the girls, but, interestingly; the opportunity seems to always surround my son Oliver’s teams. At times, I’ve felt intimidated, wondering if I have enough to offer kids that are mostly,. (I’m pretty tough) physically superior to me. Let’s face it, at 47, I’m not as capable as 14-17-year-old boys in basketball! This year, they granted me permission to start the boys’ AAU program in Milton. This has not been allowed before, and it was an honor.

     Fearing I didn’t have enough experience, (and never consulting God), I sought a male influence for my program of young men (seemed pretty wise in my own eyes). My daughter’s boyfriend’s stepfather had given me a couple of opportunities to coach summer league for Oliver’s team over the past two summers, and we’d become close to their family, so I invited him. This individual is the type of male whose identity comes from coaching. Instead of trying to lift my arms and help me establish myself, things quickly became about him and his ego. Drama between Oliver, my son, and this male ensued. There was a lot of lining kids up for what seemed to me petty infractions and making them run and run. If this were school ball, running the boys ragged would have been fine. However, several of the players felt drained because they were playing a spring sport on top of AAU. Our practice was at 8pm, and many of them had already attended a prior practice earlier in the day.

     We were not on the same page when it came to our playbook. We didn’t agree on what defense to run. Drama unfolded as long texts and talks ensued. Three kids left the program. One courageous mom told me they didn’t like the other coach (him). Backstabbing began once word got out to him (them). I did everything I could to hold this program together, hoping the school would keep allowing something I felt was hugely beneficial for these boys. It became messy!

     My hurt was significant. Here was a man, a family friend, the stepfather of my daughter’s boyfriend… a man that had been let go from other coaching jobs, (all explained away), a man that I tried to give an opportunity to get back in the gym and do something that he loves, and a man (and his wife, family and others) that were rejecting and attacking me! Point is—the hurt bled into a raging anger. My thoughts found every unkind, but truthful knife, sword, mace and Uzi in my arsenal. I was ready to wield it against him, against them... I was ready to defend myself! All those rejections that I’d faced in the past... the times people had thrown me away, stabbed me in the back, people that could not see my heart in a matter...those old rejections sang their siren song wooing me toward destruction...

     Recently, I have felt called to go on prayer walks with God. I don’t love it. Walking is fine, but there is something about feeling like I have to walk that my nature bucks. Also, I can be lazy, distracted and a prima-donna desiring the perfect temperature of not too hot or cold and just like the Wicked Witch in the Wizard of Oz... I’m pretty sure rain will melt me (and let’s not talk about that nasty white stuff that falls from the sky).

     Over the last while, I’ve been diving into the word of God. I’ve been going on those walks despite my inner grumbling and spending more time in prayer and all the things...so…

​     I went on one of the angriest walks I’ve ever had with God. I hated that I was angry because I knew it wasn’t right, but my brain couldn’t stop thinking about how I’d been wronged. How about you? Ever known through and through what you should do and how you should change, but feel powerless to do it? As I’m walking, I’d apologize to God for my attitude and anger, (and tried to pray for them), but invariably, my thoughts would turn to acid, and I be right back to stewing and seething and feeling!

     It got to the point where I was only too aware of how vile I was being. I recognized that it was my responsibility to forgive, especially considering that whole passage in the bible that talks about how we will not be forgiven if we don’t forgive. I certainly don’t want God holding my sins against me! Somewhere in my heart, I know God loves these people and that they are hurting, too. They were dealing with their own formative rejections and inner struggles, but I was so angry, I couldn’t let go of it, and I hated that about myself! My brain went to how worthless it was for me to be a Christian, if I can’t be “Christlike” and how much easier it would be to be in heaven. I conjured a bunch of ways God could kill me off. Brains being morbid and all... a car could come careening into me. Perhaps an aneurysm, heart attack, … and on and on my black thoughts swirled.

​     God is a total gentleman. Never did He condemn me for my feelings. Despite hanging onto my feelings with both fists, He never pried them out of my cold dead hands. Never sent a car, heart attack or any of the other dark things my mind conjured to take me out because I wasn’t perfect, and I couldn’t make myself stop feeling. He waited patiently for me to come to the end of, well, me, and to ask Him for help! If you’ve read this far, kudos, this is long. Don’t quit now, we are just getting to the good stuff God is revealing.

     Letting go was the first hard and easy part. As I’d mentioned, I’d been hitting the ‘good book’ pretty hard, reading in Samuel. Reading about how Israel wanted a king to rule them instead of God. God asked me if I wanted to be ruled by the world or by Him? Woof! What a question. I knew He was talking about my heart. What would rule my heart? Would pettiness, unforgiveness, and anger or could God and love win the day? Did it even matter to me what God wanted to see happen in the situation?

     Did you note I said it was both hard and easy? The hard part was making a choice with the war raging in my spirit. The fact that I struggled to trust God to deal with things the way I wanted. I knew He would deal with them, but would I find it satisfying? Would He mete out punishment or forgiveness? Isaiah 55:8-9 came to mind: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saithe the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Huff, fine.

     It came down to trust. Was I willing to trust Him to rule? The easy part was that making a choice was more like a stove fire that was easily squelched with an extinguisher. Poof, done. Decision made. God gets to win this one! God reminded me we aren’t fighting against people. We are fighting against spirits (Ephesians 6:12) bent on our destruction. We are fighting an invisible war daily and the enemy is crafty in turning souls away from the true source of love and power by hurting us and leaving invisible scars that are easily torn open and begin oozing. You know that saying, “death by 1,000 paper cuts”? It’s more like death by the 1,000 paper cuts to our soul. You feel?

     Ok, Jenn, Step 1. make a choice to allow God to rule your heart instead of all the hurts and traumas. Don’t settle for worldly kings! Don’t repay evil with evil. Step 2. The choice isn’t a feeling. Feelings can’t be the thing that drives us. Feelings are fickle, flawed and fleeting, and they will lie to you! Our feelings need to be the caboose, like on a train. We make a choice, and let the feelings catch up!

     Next, God began talking to me about the Garden of Eden. He reminded me that rejection was a big part of the first sin. Adam and Eve rejected God by disobeying Him, and then they ran, hid and tried to fix the problem themselves by sewing fig leaves together. Step 3. Let God fix it!

     God brought me again to Israel’s sin to request a king. Samuel was one of the priests, helping God lead the people. Samuel was bummed, but God said something of significance. He said, “they have not rejected you, but they have rejected Me, that I should not reign over them.” Ultimately, every rejection stems from the first rejection, the rejection of God by Adam and Eve. That curse has followed us down the line. Like Adam and Eve, we are all still rejecting God and disallowing him to rule.

     The offense and hurt that I feel results from a people that are rejecting God. The alcoholic has rejected God first, before he/she ever rejected you or I. The parent that failed to protect, rejects God first. The cheating, lying spouse... has rejected God. The critical parent is rejecting God. The boss that overlooks and the hurtful parishioners are all rejecting God….

     How does this help? What do I do with all these feelings? What do I do when a new fresh thing like the basketball example triggers the 1,000 invisible paper cuts that prior rejections and hurts have placed on my soul?

     How does it help? Like Adam and Eve, we can’t fix it ourselves. The day I asked God to heal some of the broken areas that rejection has harmed began a sweet journey between the Lord and I. I asked Him to be the King on the throne of my heart, and to help me overcome evil with good. The family in the basketball story is one that my children and I pray for consistently. It’s a family that Jason and I have witnessed to consistently. They are watching my life. I still feel wronged. I still feel hurt, but through obedience, God kept my mouth shut and I got through the last tournament, which our team won the entire thing. To date, there is no reconciliation, but there also isn’t the infliction of further harm.

     Remember, throughout the whole course of known history, people have rejected God. We aren’t alone! Jesus on the cross begged the father not to take vengeance against those perpetrators of violence because “they knew not what they were doing”. They were responding to the same evil that layers experiences and harms seeking to rob, kill and destroy us today! Jesus knew that.
What do I do with these feelings? We are given feelings to enhance our lives and experience, but we can’t let them rule us. Check out Philippians 4:8, 2 Corinthians 10:5, and Romans 12:2.

     Triggers: we all have hurts that have informed behavior patterns and when that raw nerve is touched, whew, it’s tough to refrain from bleeding on those who didn’t cut you. The most important thing to do is invite God in. For some, God might tell you to find help to sort through those old traumas. I think the antidote will be different for each. What I would say is, don’t run and hide like Adam and Eve. The fig leaves won’t work, and it doesn’t solve the problem.
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     A closing thought, sometimes I think we need to know that pain is safe to feel. It hurts and is uncomfortable, but it will not destroy you. In the natural, a festering wound needs to be cleaned out. In the spirit, our inner man needs that too, and this is where Jesus comes in! I’m more than happy to help anyone that feels they need accountability or help to get started!

​By Joyce Pelletier
                                  Psalm 127:1 Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain 

                So many times, when something new and different comes up, I pray for God’s will. I am learning that the only way to fly is in the hands of Jesus. Whenever I need to contemplate a new request from an unexpected source, I first think, ‘no, that’s not for me to consider. Others are more qualified.’ So then, I stop and think, what if God wants me to do this? My heart takes a leap of openness. Nothing is impossible with God, right?
                So, when I consider the request more thoroughly and realize that when God makes the call, He knows who He’s calling. He knows what the answer is, it is me to find out what His desire is. Then like Romans 8:28 says, “everything works out for good for those who love the Lord and fit into His plan.”
                How many times have we quoted this from Romans and leave out “fit into His Plan.?” I know I am guilty of that. But more and more He leads me to seek his plan. To build a house, we need a blueprint, plans, carpenters, electricians, plumbers, and yes sometimes a decorator. I know whenever we moved to a new space, which were many, I’ve decorated with what we have. Somehow, we make do.
                In our nearly sixty years of marriage, we have moved 13 times. Each place was different. In the first two years we moved 9 times. We were trying to find ourselves and where we belonged. The nineth time we had our two children. We moved to a small garage apartment on a farm and the owner that we worked for built a house for us to live with more space. This was down the road a mile at end, of the property. Nine years later, we moved to a different farm for about five years. We then found a new job in the Burlington area. After a few more moves we retired and came to Colchester.
                Each place we lived we learned so much. When we moved to the house at the end of the property, we started to meet neighbors and returned to church. Both of us came into contact with Jesus through our neighbors who became our first Christian family. Every place we lived was a new steppingstone for our journey.
                In 2008 we found ourselves at the doorstep of Daybreak. So much of life that we have experienced along the way. There was the good, the hard, the challenging events. But, God’ light gets brighter and brighter. God has worked with us all along the road. He gave us tools to work with and the promise of him being at our side. Colchester has been the longest stay of all. Since walking through the doors of Daybreak, we’ve been able to grow and each step has been a conviction to trust in Jesus for all things.
                Or there are times we try to take things back into our control, but, it just doesn’t work that way. A lot of ways along this journey has had moments of feeling inadequate. Truth be told, those inadequacies have carried us through every door that Jesus has brought us to where we are today. It’s been over 45 years since we started this journey. We are in our 19th year in Colchester. The longest time in any place.
                We don’t know what the future holds, but I do know we are being protected and guided by our Loving Father. His Son has seen to it to put us where we are and there is no other place to be. I highly recommend Jesus as your architect. He has a plan for you and us, too.
                Father, show us the path you want us to travel, so we may stay in touch with your plan for all our lives. Lord, I trust you know what is best for us. For your name and glory.
AMEN