illusions come to life!

 by Joyce Pelletier​
​Psalm 91:4
          He will cover you with His feathers; He will shelter you with His wings; His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
 
          How do you “wait?”
        Most of us have spent time in a hospital, either waiting for a surgery to be over on a loved one, or the birth of a new baby or
​maybe waiting for test results. Your mind is running ahead of you thinking ‘this isn’t good!’
 
          As you wait, you might get antsy. You become restless.  You think, why is this taking so long? Surely it has to be done soon. Yet, there is nothing you can do… but wait!
 
         I’m not sure what is more difficult, waiting in the waiting room, or being on the operating table as they work on your body. In most cases you are out like a light. Yet there are times when you are awake through the whole thing.
 
        A few years ago, I found myself in that position. I had developed the beginning of a macular hole in my right eye. I didn’t think too much about it at first and in fact the whole idea is here it is two years later and now I realize the intensity of what could have been.
 
       As they prepped me for the surgery, not much was said about the ‘time’ of not being able to move and being wide awake. The surgery took over 2 hours. Hmm, you might be thinking, ‘that’s not too long for what they have to do.’  I’d have to agree with you. it’s not very long! Well, waiting is not my best gift. A lot depends on the circumstances. In my case, this delicate procedure was dealing with my right eye. I had a tear that was affecting my retina. Something had to be done right away, as the alternative could be blindness. Scary thought to say the least.
 
        We were about an hour into the surgery when I suddenly had a major hot flash. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I boldly asked the surgeon, “Are we nearly there, yet?” He hesitated then said, “Well, I need another 30 minutes.” My heart kind of sunk. He inquired if I needed something. After a minute or two, I said that I was very hot. The nurses loosened up my blankets and immediately I started to feel cooler. I also started to feel a bit anxious. Thinking about another 30 minutes seemed like an eternity. I mentioned I was getting a bit antsy. They immediately gave me a bit more of the sedative and I suddenly envisioned something so amazing. As it turned out it went a bit longer but it wasn't horrible. Not being able to move and being awake, which would have been a walk in the park if I could have been asleep. That wasn't written on the procedure plans. I had to let them do what they had to do. Like Jesse said recently in his sermon. I had to obey. My body was relaxed with sedatives, but I was also awake. Not a lot of choices that day. 
 
         I guess you could say, being under this medication, wasn't so bad. I didn't have any pain. As I lay there, I could see with my left eye, visions of red and black stems of leaves and flowers being drawn before me. I watched for some time and it was such an unexpected illusion that I thought that my eyes were inside a plant as it grew into it’s amazing beauty.  I lay there marveling as this creation was seemingly being created by the master artist.
 
         The next thing I knew was they were finishing up my surgery and getting me ready to go to recovery. In that thirty minutes plus, I was completely distracted, watching God do his Creating of this amazing plant. The picture I saw was God’s hand on me so I could remain calm so I would not disrupt this surgery. The waiting was done and I was moved to recovery for a short while and able to be prepared for discharge. The surgery was a success. Recovery wasn't fun as I had to sit on a special chair with my head facing down on the table top. I had to lay on this apparatus about  45 minutes and sleep if I was able to and 15 minutes of each hour I could get up and walk around, grab a snack,  or whatever. During the nighttime I could sleep those 45 minutes, then get up. But as long as I was asleep, I could stay there for hours. Which was the case. I'd sleep 3-4 hours, then wake and walk around, then bundle myself up in a blanket again and did the routine again. This went on for 7 days. The ironic thing that proved to me that I wasn't alone, was the ability to get the sufficient sleep that I needed. 
 
        The amazing thing was the experience going through this procedure, I was able to see and experience the handwork of God. Can there be any doubt who was in that operating room? His presence was very visual. He is always with us, especially when we seemingly lose patience. He takes over.
 
         Will you join me in prayer?  In the midst of my anxiety, Lord, I thank you for being there for me. Take my anxious thoughts and turn them into your artful masterpieces. I trust you Lord, with all I am and have. Even in the midst of an anxious heart. And when I am anxious for my loved ones, you will remind me who you are. You will give me your grace to "wait."  I praise your holy Name.