christmas worth celebrating

by Rebecca Vickery
       Why are you downcast O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God. For I will yet
praise Him. My savior and my God. Psalm 42:5 isn’t exactly a verse we think of when we’re reflecting
on the season of Advent. Yet, it is more appropriate than I want it to be right now. 2024 has been a
challenging year in so many ways that as we approach Christmas, less than two weeks away, I am not
sure I have ever felt less merry. Instead, I feel weary. Exhausted. Worn out. “Bah Humbug, and that’s
too strong, for it is my favorite holiday. But all this year’s been a busy blur, don’t think I have the
energy.” Christmas Wrapping, The Waitresses
        I love Christmas music, and yet I have struggled to even want to hear it. A physical assessment tells me
my chest is all tight around my heart, as if desperately to keep it all together. I take some breaths, with
deep exhales. I thank the Lord for physical therapy and the ability to check in with my body. Physical
anxiousness has been a residual effect of long term symptomatic chronic health issues. And so I return
to the Lord.
       “Lord, I am anxious. Why am I so anxious? Why is my chest so tight and my muscles perpetually
activated? Why is my heart troubled? I mean, yes, there is a lot going on, but Lord, I do so trust you.
Help me put my troubles in your hands so that I can let go and not fixate on the outcomes and the
details. Thank you for the way that you are working in the hidden places. Thank you for tolerating my
frenetic returns. Thank you that you allow me to approach you boldly. That I can enter into your
presence at a moments notice and know that you are the God who hears me.”
         Christmas has felt so remote. So not right now. Yet it approaches. And I want to make it a merry time
for the children, but I am not merry. Even still, after I go to God, sometimes every hour, sometimes
every few minutes, sometimes just on a moment-by-moment basis, I am revived. I am renewed. Even if
only for a few minutes or moments. I am restored. It reminds me of why I have every reason to be
thankful, if not merry.
         Emmanuel. God with us. Because God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that
whoever believes in Him will have eternal life. That life doesn’t start after we die, it’s starts when we
believe. Jesus was the first Christmas gift. It was a gift to a world that did not recognize him. BUT to all
who recognized Him, to all who received Him, He gave the right to be called children of God. Coheirs
with Christ. My inheritance. That inheritance again, starts once we believe. We inherit the right to
approach His throne. Again. And again. And again.
        The world was made through him, and they still don’t recognize him. We might be praying for people
who are super close to us to have eyes to recognize. Behold, the evidence. But for many of us who do
believe, we believe because we have experienced God with us. We believe because we STILL experience
God with us. The gift of the Holy Spirit ministers to our hearts. The goodness of God meets us in dark
places. The mercy of God meets us in impossible spaces. The grace of God meets us in desperation.
We are not undone even when we are hard pressed on all sides.
        O God, you are indescribable, but I know your works. I know the places that you have met me where no
one else could follow but you alone. I cannot use academic proofs to reveal you to those who, it seems,
would rather not believe. I cannot use archaeological findings to share of your great deeds. There is a
counter to every piece of evidence that I might mete out. For every reason to believe, there stands 
many more not to. “The message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who
are being saved, it is the power of God.” 1 Corinthians 1:18
        I will be counted a fool by any who contend that my belief is foolish. I believe that Jesus came. That He
was born of a virgin. That He was God with us. That he lived a righteous life and died a sinner’s death.
He died for the sins of all who would believe in him. And I believe that God raised Him from the dead
again, conquering death and making a way for us to live with him eternally from the moment we first
believe. I have pondered and pondered this. I have searched, and researched. But more than that, I
have known Him. I have experienced his love. I have experienced his faithfulness. Time and time again,
he has proved himself, even when I did not need such proof. He is that which you surrender all else to
follow. I would rather be a fool for Him than be counted the wisest of the wise by wordly men who
believe that we came into existence by nothing, and will eventually go back into nothing.
        The gift of faith is free, but it is not cheap. It costs. Sometimes it costs everything. But it is truly worth
everything. There is nothing that will ever be worth more. So regardless of how my mood aligns with
the holiday, Christmas is worth putting on the garments of praise for the spirit of heaviness. “Rejoice,
rejoice, our God is here with us. Emmanuel, our God is still with us.” Joyful Joyful, Rend Collective.
Even if I have to mix in my “hard fought, heartfelt, it is well, Hallelujah,” (Brandon Lake) I will praise the
Lord. I will rejoice that even in the strife, I have a God who is here with me. I am deeply loved by a
Savior who will never leave me nor forsake me, who will be with me always, even until the very end of
the age. And that is worth celebrating. Merry Christmas, Daybreak Church.

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