by Rebecca Vickery

​Twenty-seven years ago, I had my first encounters with the Living God. Codependency wasn’t a word
that I was familiar with at the time, but I already had the beginnings of it in a relationship I cut off before
leaving for the Czech Republic on an exchange program. I did not break things off with my boyfriend so
that I could find God, I did it so that he wouldn’t be idealizing me the whole time I was gone meaning I
would never measure up to the picture of me that he had formed in his head. I also didn’t want to be
constantly missing home instead of enjoying each moment that I had in this beautiful country.

Nevertheless, my ex-boyfriend wrote to me while I was in Prague. I was exposed to a kind of
codependency that was unfamiliar. I couldn’t fix things that were brought up in the letters. I was
helpless to make a difference and I was stuck. In one of the early letters, I learned that he was drinking
enough to kill himself. Maybe that was the point, maybe the point was to make me feel bad enough to
say, you can be my boyfriend, now stop the excess drinking so I’ll have a boyfriend to come back to.
Whatever the purpose, I couldn’t really do anything to change his behavior. He had a drinking problem
before he met me, and this good girl couldn’t sway him from the other side of the ocean.

Meanwhile, I had started going to an English conversation group at my Czech speaking high school
(Gymnasium as they called it). The Czech kids were mostly arguing against the existence of God, but I
reasoned that God existed, I just didn’t know how intimately involved He was with us. This was the first
time I’d ever had to reason about the existence of God. I grew up in the Episcopalian Church, and
thought of God as a distant creator who didn’t have much if anything to do with our daily lives.
At the same time, my host family held weekly prayer meetings called Taize worship nights at their
beautiful home. I had also been invited to a local Church service at an international Church in Prague. I
was receiving invitations to meet with God on every side. I started attending the Church and was invited
to youth group where they were actually studying the Bible. I had never really read it, and apart from
hearing snippets of it during the Church year according to the liturgical calendar, I didn’t know that
much about it.

The preaching was intriguing. The Pastor was teaching through the book of Isaiah. I told myself I went
back to the Church because of the music, contemporary songs that reminded me of Church camp. But I
think a deeper part of me was fascinated by the teaching of the Word. It Spoke to me.
The first time one of the youth group members invited me to study the Bible with them, I instantly
rejected them. The next week, I was invited by someone else. And then someone else. Finally, I said to
myself, these people, my peers, are actually reading this book and want to learn more from it, I have got
to see what this is about. So, I went.

There I was surrounded by people pointing me towards God, with a problem bigger than my capacity.
At Bible study this particular week, we were asked if anyone had prayer requests. This time, I slipped up
my hand. Afraid of judgement, I didn’t specify the specific nature of my prayer, but that my friend
needed help and that I was very worried for him. Later in the week, at my host family’s prayer meeting,
I decided to do some praying for him myself. I prayed with tears to a God I sure hoped was listening and
submit my requests to him in earnest.

The following week, I got a letter from James. He had given up drinking for lent. He had never
celebrated lent before, so this was a strange thing, but instead of instantly saying, “God, you did it,” I
was like, Good, now I don’t have to worry about it anymore. I went to Bible Study that week and they

were studying from John 4, the story about the Woman at the well. Our study leader talked about the
Living Water, and asked us a question.

“Are you drinking from the living water with a straw, or are you in there on your hands and knees
drinking all that you can?” At that moment, it occurred to me that my very specific prayers had been
answered. They were answered in a very strategic and timely way. I felt like God was showing me who
He was and I didn’t know what to do about it.

I put my hand up in the air and said, “I feel like God is saying, Here I am, come to me, and I have no idea
how to drink.” This was the first time I ever felt like the God of the Universe was reaching out to me and
calling me to Himself.

Later that week, my youth leader Toni met with me and heard my story and told me about Jesus of
Nazareth. She told me about how God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son so that
whosoever believed in Him would not perish but have eternal life. I had heard a similar message at
Church for years, but this was the first time it felt like a present truth, not like ancient history. God
wasn’t merely a distant patriarch, but a present reality, and He wanted to know me and be known by
me.

Toni asked me what I thought about this. I marveled, if Jesus came and died on a cross for me, now that
I know what this means for me, how can I not follow Him? And so I followed the Son and He led me and
leads me to the Father. I do not believe merely because Christianity is the only religion where we don’t
have to do xy and z to attain heaven because Jesus already achieved it. God did what only God could do.
He made the bridge to cross that divide, I only needed to walk across it in faith. Jesus is the way, the
truth and the life. Experiencing God was what led to that faith.

There have been many philosophical and theological challenges to my faith since then. I have had to, as
Peter says, be prepared to give an answer for the hope that I have. I believe the Bible is real, but more
than that, I believe that the God OF the Bible is real. He is the reason for the hope that I have. Every
moment that I come to Him and know Him more fully confirms my faith more and more. I believe that I
am known by the Living God, because I encountered Him myself. I didn’t go to the Czech Republic to
find God, but I found Him there in spite of me. I love Him because He first loved me. He ignited my faith
and lit the way to finding Him.

Seek the Lord while he may be found;
    call on him while he is near.
Let the wicked forsake their ways
    and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,
    and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
Isaiah 55:6-7

 by Joyce Pelletier​
​Psalm 91:4
          He will cover you with His feathers; He will shelter you with His wings; His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
 
          How do you “wait?”
        Most of us have spent time in a hospital, either waiting for a surgery to be over on a loved one, or the birth of a new baby or
​maybe waiting for test results. Your mind is running ahead of you thinking ‘this isn’t good!’
 
          As you wait, you might get antsy. You become restless.  You think, why is this taking so long? Surely it has to be done soon. Yet, there is nothing you can do… but wait!
 
         I’m not sure what is more difficult, waiting in the waiting room, or being on the operating table as they work on your body. In most cases you are out like a light. Yet there are times when you are awake through the whole thing.
 
        A few years ago, I found myself in that position. I had developed the beginning of a macular hole in my right eye. I didn’t think too much about it at first and in fact the whole idea is here it is two years later and now I realize the intensity of what could have been.
 
       As they prepped me for the surgery, not much was said about the ‘time’ of not being able to move and being wide awake. The surgery took over 2 hours. Hmm, you might be thinking, ‘that’s not too long for what they have to do.’  I’d have to agree with you. it’s not very long! Well, waiting is not my best gift. A lot depends on the circumstances. In my case, this delicate procedure was dealing with my right eye. I had a tear that was affecting my retina. Something had to be done right away, as the alternative could be blindness. Scary thought to say the least.
 
        We were about an hour into the surgery when I suddenly had a major hot flash. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I boldly asked the surgeon, “Are we nearly there, yet?” He hesitated then said, “Well, I need another 30 minutes.” My heart kind of sunk. He inquired if I needed something. After a minute or two, I said that I was very hot. The nurses loosened up my blankets and immediately I started to feel cooler. I also started to feel a bit anxious. Thinking about another 30 minutes seemed like an eternity. I mentioned I was getting a bit antsy. They immediately gave me a bit more of the sedative and I suddenly envisioned something so amazing. As it turned out it went a bit longer but it wasn't horrible. Not being able to move and being awake, which would have been a walk in the park if I could have been asleep. That wasn't written on the procedure plans. I had to let them do what they had to do. Like Jesse said recently in his sermon. I had to obey. My body was relaxed with sedatives, but I was also awake. Not a lot of choices that day. 
 
         I guess you could say, being under this medication, wasn't so bad. I didn't have any pain. As I lay there, I could see with my left eye, visions of red and black stems of leaves and flowers being drawn before me. I watched for some time and it was such an unexpected illusion that I thought that my eyes were inside a plant as it grew into it’s amazing beauty.  I lay there marveling as this creation was seemingly being created by the master artist.
 
         The next thing I knew was they were finishing up my surgery and getting me ready to go to recovery. In that thirty minutes plus, I was completely distracted, watching God do his Creating of this amazing plant. The picture I saw was God’s hand on me so I could remain calm so I would not disrupt this surgery. The waiting was done and I was moved to recovery for a short while and able to be prepared for discharge. The surgery was a success. Recovery wasn't fun as I had to sit on a special chair with my head facing down on the table top. I had to lay on this apparatus about  45 minutes and sleep if I was able to and 15 minutes of each hour I could get up and walk around, grab a snack,  or whatever. During the nighttime I could sleep those 45 minutes, then get up. But as long as I was asleep, I could stay there for hours. Which was the case. I'd sleep 3-4 hours, then wake and walk around, then bundle myself up in a blanket again and did the routine again. This went on for 7 days. The ironic thing that proved to me that I wasn't alone, was the ability to get the sufficient sleep that I needed. 
 
        The amazing thing was the experience going through this procedure, I was able to see and experience the handwork of God. Can there be any doubt who was in that operating room? His presence was very visual. He is always with us, especially when we seemingly lose patience. He takes over.
 
         Will you join me in prayer?  In the midst of my anxiety, Lord, I thank you for being there for me. Take my anxious thoughts and turn them into your artful masterpieces. I trust you Lord, with all I am and have. Even in the midst of an anxious heart. And when I am anxious for my loved ones, you will remind me who you are. You will give me your grace to "wait."  I praise your holy Name. 

by Jennifer Hoyt

  1 Corinthians 2:9-16:"But as it is written:
“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”
But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God. For what man knows the things of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so no one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit who is from God that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God."

    Ever Feel Like We're in a Rut?     Ever feel like you're stuck in a never-ending loop of "Groundhog Day"? Like nothing ever changes, and you’re powerless to make things better for your family or yourself? Been there, done that, and got the T-shirt!
 
     Here's the thing: change is a constant part of life whether we realize it or not. Unless we've found a way to freeze time (in which case, please share your secrets), change is always happening. But feeling stuck? That’s usually more about our mindset and emotions than our circumstances. We might feel like nothing changes, but that's not true. If we want to feel differently, we must take charge of our mindset and emotions and bring them to God. Emotions are as fickle – here one moment, gone the next. They can be as unreliable as our Wi-Fi during a Zoom meeting. Our feelings will lie to us, while our mindset or intellect will back up these erroneous feelings with a mountain of “evidence.” This is where our spirit, connected with the Holy Spirit, steps in. What’s the real truth about our situation? What does God say about our situation?


     If we feel like we’re in a rut, here’s the good news: we can change it! First, we need to tackle the mindset that’s easily bullied by strong emotions. We need to get ahold of the truth and rehearse it in our mind as many times as the lie pops up. If we’re in a rut – we can get out of the rut. If we’re stuck – we can unstick ourselves! God gave us the incredible ability through our will and choices to submit things to Him, get His word about the matter, and then partner with Him by praying for it and declaring it, until we see it established. 
If we’re stuck because we don’t know how to make the necessary changes, this is where the Holy Spirit comes in. The Holy Spirit dwells within us to teach, instruct, and bring the mind of Christ and the heart of the Father. 1 Corinthians 2: 9-16 (above) asks, who knows another person’s thoughts but the spirit within them? Can we read each other's minds? Of course not! But we do know our own thoughts, and we CAN know the thoughts of the Father because His spirit resides within us. So important to catch that! God's thoughts can be known by us through His spirit that indwells us. He has planned amazing things for those who love Him. The Bible tells us that God has plans for us – plans to prosper us and not to harm us.


     Here’s the kicker: we can partner with God to bring about change through our obedience and declarations. If we don’t know how to make the changes, we should ask, knock, seek – and repeat! God desires a relationship with us and He cares about how you are feeling. I think it's time more sons and daughters got a word in their spirit for their situation and began to pray, declare and repeat until they see God's word, which never returns to Him null and void - come to fruition. We get to be part of initiating our own change by asking the Holy Spirit how to make the necessary changes and then taking faithful steps of obedience. We are not stuck. The same Holy Spirit that walked the earth with Jesus resides within us.
     
     God has great plans for us, and if we hear and obey, He will give us the grace to perform the tasks He has called us to - sometimes that means we have to wait and be faithful and patient in our time of waiting. If we don’t know what to do keep – asking, seeking, knocking – repeat. The difficult, but simple truth, is, we can't be ruled by our feelings. What we don’t manage will manage us (so we have to manage our feelings). The secret I've found to feeling differently, is to change the direction of my thoughts toward praise and gratefulness, while asking God for the bigger picture and how I can align myself with His will.
Bless you as you walk out the Word in your life!