By Kadeen Edwards

     “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” Psalms‬ ‭13‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ ‭NIV‬

     “How long Lord?” is a common question among all believers. In the beginning of my relationship with God it was a wonderful whirlwind of transformation. So many new and exciting things were happening. I was one way and then I wasn’t. How quickly it all happened. 

     The equation was simple yet complex: the old + Jesus = the new. He makes all things new. Looking back, I now realize God changed my wants. Instead of wanting worldly things, I now wanted only things from above. My treasures were in heaven. They were no more entwined things of this world. Things of this world didn’t change my life, Jesus did! 

     As time passed my relationship with the Lord changed in the beginning. He was so close I felt him always encouraging me and watching over me and so much. Yet, most recently in this season, I hadn’t felt as close to him as I was. In the beginning I felt him always with me, guiding me. Then nothing! Then I thought where are you God? Where are all the things that you said you would do? I didn’t even pay attention to all he had already done. I thought God why have you left me? Did I not pray enough? Did I not worship enough? I must have missed something that you were showing. 

     My separation from God was based on works I thought I needed to do to keep his presence. The truth is I never lost his presence. He’s always been with me. Finally I realized he had just simply answered my prayer. This season of Lord where are you? God have you forsaken me? Have you left me is just a season of answered prayer. 

     As I was reflecting the other day, I realized those prayers I was praying had been answered. pray to God, I want hunger and thirst for you. I want to be more like you refine me with your fire. Help me to see as you see and to hear as you hear. My prayers were answered because when I felt distance, I decided to seek him out even more, and so my desire was to be filled in every way with his word through sermons, through reading scriptures, through doing studies. 

     I could not get enough of him. My answered prayer created more distance between us and the more distant I felt the more desperate my search for him. He hadn’t gone anywhere because another part of me also knew that he was still with me. His favor was with me. He walked with me. It was just a different season of growth. It was a season of strength training and I’m grateful for it, because I see clearly now. I feel him even nearer now but it’s in a different way.

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     by Rebecca Vickery
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      There's a part of me that always wanted to skip to the end of a stressful book. Things aren't
looking good, so I want to get to the end where there's hopefully resolution. Better that than
feeling the tension. Take me to the end where the wrongs have been righted, and
reconciliation has occurred. There are times when life gets hard that I want to do the same.
Can we skip to the redemption arc?
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      I know God can make a way even when there seems to be no way, but walking in the midst of
it, that's how I become conformed to the likeness of His Son. If I am walking in my own
strength, then when I come against someone who is making life hard, then I might be inclined
like the disciples to ask, shall we call down fire on them? God, can you smite my enemies?
The living, breathing ones that surround me. Not the unseen enemy that makes those people
seem like the enemy. But if I'm walking in the Spirit, and being conformed to the likeness of His
Son, then I am interceding for those who, by their words and their lifestyle do actual harm to
the ones I love. I am asking God to bless my enemies, to bless and not to curse them, to forgive
them, for they don't know what they're doing. I'm following the examples of Jesus. If I skip to
the end, I would bypass my own redemption arc and miss the Lord using my circumstances to
draw me closer to himself.

      None of us desires suffering. But if we are suffering, it is not for nothing. Our suffering is not in vain. Jesus Himself pleaded with the father that if it was possible for Him to not have to face
the suffering on the cross, that God would do it another way. If there was another way, Jesus
would not have had to endure the cross. Likewise, if there was another way for this story to
happen apart from my suffering, I would not be suffering. In 2 Corinthians, the Bible offers us
encouragement with regards to suffering.

      Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are
being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an
eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is
unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
I don’t need to skip the end. I know that in the end, God will make all things right. I will never
share another uncomfortable conversation with a loved one that ends in confusion, heartache
and frustration. I will never feel the brokenness of my body and the weight of this world on my
heart. I will hunger no more, I will thirst no more, and He will wipe away every tear from my
eyes. But in the meantime, my “light and momentary troubles” (that neither feel light nor
momentary) are accomplishing for myself (and my family members) an eternal glory that far
outweighs them all.

      What comfort and peace I find in those words. Not only are my troubles momentary, but they
are achieving something eternal for me. I cannot fully understand from this side of glory what 
it means, but I know from Romans 8:18 that I can consider that our present sufferings are not
worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. That which is yet to come will be far
more glorious than anything I have had to endure on this side of things.
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      Someday, we will witness the restoration of all things. In the meantime, we are called to be
ministers of reconciliation making peace wherever peace is possible. What a charge we have
been given. BUT, He who called us is faithful. We do not have to rest in our own strength to
get us to the end of the story. We can fix our eyes on the author and finisher of our faith,
knowing that HE is the one who will get us to the end. 1 Corinthians 1:8 says, “He will also keep
you firm to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.” In Jude
it says that He will keep us from stumbling and present us without wrinkle or blemish to the
Lord in the end. So as challenging as it seems to be a minister of reconciliation in a broken
world, Jesus has my back and is interceding for me that my faith may not fail me. I don’t have
to skip to the end of the story, I can trust in the savior who will give me the strength to endure.
Hallelujah. To Him be the glory, both now and forevermore.

by Kadeen Edwards

       Rest is not to be found in figuring your life out, but in trusting the One who has it all figured out for your good and His glory.


     “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6‬:‭26‬ ‭NIV‬‬


     Rest is one of the best parts of being a child of God. It is a gift that God has given us. Yet it sometimes seems out of reach. Rest is what God did on the seventh day and what he wants us to do.

     The reality of me not taking rest is saying to God I know what you said but I don’t trust that you have all things in your hand so I am going to do it my way. Which every time I do it my way it leads to exhaustion and anxiety and not much accomplished. When I trust God and rest in him, it seems that even more than I could think or imagine gets done in my rest and I have peace.

     So after reading this and processing what I have written, I think to myself why am I not resting in the times he’s called me to rest? I know that he gets it done…

​     Our God never sleeps nor slumbers. So now I have a choice to rest and receive his peace or be exhausted and accomplish little. I know that he does more than I can think or imagine when I rest in him. This year, I am going to learn to receive this rest.
Sent from my iPhone

by William Brannon
​Being a parent is truly a gift from God, one in which I believe glorifies and parallels how the Lord sees, cares and feels about us.      

I don’t know about you, but I would die so that my children could live. Does this sound familiar?

Ever wonder why we are to look at God as the father? Besides the obvious reason of God being the creator of us all and Jesus being the son, I believe in part, it’s God's example of our relationship with him and the way he loves us displayed in our relationship with our children. 

God watches over our lives, guides us, while at the same time allowing us to make our own choices, our own mistakes; correcting us as we go, out of love, even when it seems to us as punishment.

Ever try telling your child to clean their room? You would think you sent them to go through some great torment, when in reality you are trying to get them to understand that living in filth is no life at all. Our kids look at their room full of trash, laundry, toys, and they don't know how to even start. So we have to explain that you don't just go in and try to clean it all at once, but instead work on one problem at a time. First, start by picking up just the laundry; then, when that's done, you start on all the toys and so on. In the same way, God has us clean up our life, one problem at a time. If you look at your life as a dirty room that needs cleaning, you see how you can easily get overwhelmed and not know where to start in that same way.  
 
It's funny how we, just as our kids, try to pull away from our father as he guides us, saying aloud, “I can do it myself!” Even though there are none who can. We can’t see the bigger picture, the dangers hurdling at us from further down the roads we have stepped into the middle of.

As for the opposite end, when we do take his hand, we are happy to follow without even knowing where we are going. We are at peace without a care in the world, because we know that when we are held in our fathers hand, nothing can remove us from it. We have faith that he can and will guide us everywhere safley.  

I believe we all had a healthy fear/respect for our parents, well I know I did. I believe that's the kind of fear the Bible talks about having of the Lord. Just like we did for our parents, not fear, but reverence, of their love, authority and leadership over our lives.

It’s a comforting thought that has carried me through my walk with the Lord, that the Lord's love is free and never changing, even through the times when I have, in my eyes, failed him. When you look at your children, is there anything that they can really do to fail you? To make you love them any less? Any time I come to him after, in my eyes having failed him, I find God waiting patiently for me with a smile, as he hugs me and tells me it's going to be ok. He asks, “what did we learn? Are we going to do that again? why not?" and follows with, "It's ok, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere, I love you.”

Our kids count on us for everything. If we didn't provide for them, feed them, nourish them, they wouldn’t survive. In the same manner if God didn't feed us with the living water of the Holy Spirit, as well as feeding us with his word, and forming a new path through faith to life, we would have died the true death. Jesus took on the sins of us all, was crucified, died, and was resurrected; he finished it. The most Holy of santifactions, by defeating death once and for all for those who put their faith in the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the Holy of Holies, the Lamb that was slain, Jesus Christ saved us all.  

I think I speak for all of your children when I say, “Thank you for everything Father, We love you, Amen.”